Don't Worry

Don't Worry, Be You!

Everyone worries; some people worry excessively. But, what do we typically worry about?

When you think about the future, are you filled with hope or worry? If you are like most people, it’s probably anxiety. You have largely been experiencing worry. Your mind feels unsettled.

Worry arises because you realize that you cannot predict what is going to happen tomorrow and know that you cannot have full control over how events turn out. You are uncomfortable with not having absolute certainty.

Incessant worrying happens when you find it hard to let go. You fret over the same details repeatedly. A fertile imagination causes you to play out mental scenarios of doom, failure, and fatal consequences over and over again. 

 Author and motivational speaker, Earl Nightingale, estimates that:

·         40% of the things you worry about will never happen.

·         30% of the things you worry about couldn’t be changed by all the worrying in the world.

·         12% of your worries are needless worries about your health.

·         10% of your worries are about petty, miscellaneous things.

·         8% of your worries are about real and legitimate concerns.

Healthy way to deal with worry

STOP TERRIBILIZING: Assuming the worst may happen keeps your body in a constant state of tension, worry and anxiety. Unfortunately, this is part of an ancient biological program called “Negativity Bias” that makes us focus more on the worst case than the best case scenario. This backfires in contemporary life. Remind yourself that 85% of what we worry about never happens. Prepare and be proactive, but expect the best, not the worst!

·        Address your fears:

Instead of suppressing your anxiety, it is important to face your fears head on. Ask yourself what is truly causing your anxiety. You may even find that your worries are mostly False Evidence Appearing Real.

START POSSIBILIZING: Learning to focus on positive possibilities is a learned skill. Even though bad stuff can happen, studies show that 80% of people said they handled it better than they thought they would. What you think about you will bring about, so focus on what’s right about a situation, not what’s wrong and you will tend to draw more of that energy to you.

FIND YOUR MANTRA: What can you say to support yourself during times of stress and worry? Build up your toolbox ahead of time. My sister uses “Keep it real!” to remind herself not to go to the dark side. I like “This, too, shall pass!” What works for you?

"When you begin to worry, go find something to do. Get busy being a blessing to someone; do something fruitful. Talking about your problem or sitting alone, thinking about it, does no good; it serves only to make you miserable. Above all else, remember that worrying is totally useless. Worrying will not solve your problem. "

ALLOW FAILURE: Worriers are often perfectionists and hate failure. But you can think of failure differently: to learn from your mistakes, you gotta go out and make some! Just maybe life is taking you in a different direction than what you are demanding. Float past failure, forgive yourself, and above all, remain open to possibilities.

"It's not really about the competition. Your biggest challenge in a race is yourself. You're often racing against time. You're frequently running everything through your mind. You're always competing against preconceived ideas. It's not really the person next to you that you worry about. "

Seek help: You may find yourself feeling worse and worse if you are unable to stop yourself from incessant worrying.  It may be a good idea to seek counseling or to talk to someone who can help. Anxiety is very common. There is nothing to feel ashamed about when you approach for help.

The best way find relief from constant worrying is to learn to let go. Worrying does not bring you any closer to solving problems. In fact, it only makes it more difficult to find clarity.

Good Luck!!